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Spencer seems to still be on east coast time, so he and I have been up since the crack of dawn watching post-election day coverage. Official word just came through that Kerry will concede.

My mind feels as if someone just dropped a heavy blanket of snow over it, leaving me with a strange and muffled feeling - doom, gloom, disgust, hopelessness, frustration... it's all mingled in there.

And silence.

My mind is in self-preservation mode. The blanket of snow isn't so bad when you shift the angle and see that I'm in a beautiful woods, sunlight peaking through a canopy of branches formed by closely clustered, leaf-bare trees. The wind is icy, noiseless in the snow-banked still. There is a sense of peace here.

False, I know.

I can't even fathom how "moral issues" could have become such a swing platform for Bush. The issues are so close, the prevailing attitudes so closed and unenlightened an untolerant that I can't even begin to blog all that arises in seeing these results and the implicit equation in importance and national threat drawn between terrorism and gay marriage in the minds of so many voters.

I am proud of my family. They live in a state that is historically Republican. They stand up for what they believe in even though they are the only ones in their offices and friendship circles in many cases. They support me, their sister and daughter, and my lifestyle, family, and partner of 12 years. My mother, still recuperating, even made sure someone drove her to the polls so she could vote (just so she could complain today, she said). I couldn't love them more.

I just got the baby back to sleep, and I've been out checking my daily blogs and was glad to see sadness or prayers or hope from last night on the blogs I was hitting. It felt reaffirming to see such unity and similarity of thought among us.

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