I have discovered in recent months that I don't get anything done in my office... when I was working (real and steady and predictable and validating work - the kind that filled my bank account), I had no trouble working from home. I'm the perfect totally self-disciplined-at-home-freelance-type candidate. I can sit here and work all day on a project without once being pulled to a TV or to the kitchen for more than the moments it takes to grab a plate of food and a drink and come back. Those were the days... I loved those days.
These days, I'm suddenly faced with a few hours here and there when I can work at my computer, in peace, but the things I "need" to work on... I don't do if I'm sitting here. Instead, I fiddle away my time... and it drives me crazy. I knew, today, that I should have just sat at the coffee shop to work after drop-off... I knew I wouldn't get much done here. But, I haven't been feeling "so" great. So... I came home, determined to work from here... and, after fiddling for a while, I did do some work, but I kept coming back to the image of that pink computer in my head... I saw it the other day in email, and then I got another email today... and I showed M. across the office... "Is it a small one?" I hadn't even noticed, but it is... and that made me think of this:
That's the screen of my Fujitsu LifeBook... after I dropped it oh, maybe two years ago.
Not that I don't think of it... often. I do... and finding that image today in old blog entries was surprisingly easy. I knew just what word to search on. That post begins this way:
That's my treasured LifeBook screen - now cracked. This is only one of many computers in our house, but it's always been a special one. When Matthew was a baby, I wanted something "really" small so I could work when he was sleeping and so I could easily carry it around the house. The LifeBook is just about the size of a hardback book. Really great.
Really my fault.
I turned it on again today just hoping maybe it wasn't as bad as it'd seemed yesterday.
The only other time something like this happened was when I spilled a cup of coffee on my red Palm.
That time it was my fault, too.
That this happened... an unfortunate drop as I tried to work in a rocking chair with a baby in my arms... is something that crushed me then... it's a computer I still mourn... it was a treasured thing for me... I'm a total electronics geek... total. But that time... I didn't want the biggest and baddest thing out there... I wanted the smallest and lightest. I wanted to be able to work whenever and wherever. I adored that computer. Adored it. And, at the time, I was in a position to acquire things I adored simply because I adored them. By the time I dropped it... a different baby in my lap... ... ... that was no longer the case....
When I saw the pink one the other day, I thought, "cute!" And then I thought... "Geez, you'd look so obvious with that." I prefer not to call attention to myself, for the most part. But then, today, seeing it again and seeing how small it is... it is cool.
And, apparently, colored notebooks are "in"... Dell, too, just recently announced availability of colored exteriors...
Okay... now back to work... "A Bird in Hand" is underway... (which means EP 56)...