In line again...

So, my observations in the grocery line caught your attention... and your imagination... Some of you seem to be worried about me, seem to fear that my longing look at a bouquet of sunflowers signals some personal slump, or, worse, a mothering slump. Not really! Really, I'm okay!

And, a few things all go together to form the foundation of that moment yesterday. In part, I think I noticed the moment even more strongly and poignantly because in the last two weeks I've both read and watched The Hours by Michael Cunningham, a book that has been on my shelf for many years, but that I hadn't read before.

So, the image of the flowers... of the moment and activity and act of buying those flowers... and of everything that might be going on inside one's head when one buys those flowers... which of course may be far more and far different from what the person standing in line behind you (buying an enormous stack of Lean Cuisine pizzas) may surmise from the presence of the flowers...

I left the moment yesterday ... half-finished... because the first moment was powerful. It wasn't meant to be sad. Just a moment of observation.

But there was a second moment...

We walked to the car and unloaded the groceries. But there was an issue of a cupcake that had been seen, and pushed aside with "we'll talk about it later." I forgot about it. He did not. And so, we went back in to see about the cupcake as a possible after-dinner treat. We ended up with a set of chocolate cupcakes (which later proved to be quite the head to toe chocolate experience and resulted in me having to lift and carry one child to the tub since even his feet were covered in chocolate) and a single bag with a chocolate croissant inside to take home. As we walked in to get those things, we walked past the flowers. I noticed the roses. I noticed a set of pinky orange ones, mini roses, just waiting to burst into bloom. We stood for a moment... looking.

But in the end, I "didn't."

We got the treats and headed back to the front to wait, again, in line.

Again, I noticed the woman in front of me.

She had a much larger order. In the front, two giant frozen pizzas... comfort food, not weight-conscious. In the back, blocking my view of most of her things, a gigantic red and white box of 90+ diapers.

I laughed. She, too, in a different moment.

All of us, in different moments. And the moments are constantly shifting and moving.

So, no, not sad to have seen those flowers. Not sad not to have bought some.

But, yes, very glad I no longer have to "also" buy that box of diapers!